Perfect Love: Heart Over Hand
He made known his ways to Moses, his deeds to the people of Israel:
Psalm 103:7
The Heart
When God revealed His ways to me, I was in awe. Up until that point in time, no one in my life had ever intentionally shown me love, care, or affection while experiencing one of my lowest moments. Instead, I was trained to prep and perform for love. Everything had to be perfect. I held a detrimental belief, “There could be no spot or wrinkle or else, my ‘lover’ would reject me”. My mindset was molded by interactions with my parents, peers, and past lovers. So, to have an encounter with the God of the Universe, in which He showered me with His love, even after I had committed one of my worst sins! I knew that I had been given a gift that nothing else in this world would ever compare to! God gave me access to the gift of understanding His heart. And that access set me free from all the pain, lies, and rejection that Satan had implanted into my soul. Unfortunately, in the error of my youth, I slowly allowed unhealed wounds and old temptations to decrease the value of the gift He gave to me. I began taking intimacy with God for granted. I fell into a cycle of grieving the Holy Spirit with doubt and unbelief. Satan was able to feast on the wounds, pride, and passions that I had not submitted to God.
Hand over Heart
Throughout the Bible, God shows how the pursuit of His hand over His heart leads to spiritual death. Yet, let’s be real in acknowledging that God’s “hand” is what most of us often pray for. Because who does not want the thriving ministry, spectacular “kingdom spouse”, car, clothes, house, or any other form of material provision or wealth? We all want the good things and life that God has promised us. And there is nothing wrong with that! In hindsight, I recognize that my desire to obtain what He promised me was not wrong. However, when I allowed pain and pride to fuel my pursuit of His hand, my heart did not remain focused on His love. My heart became cynical, bitter, resentful, and disappointed. From all of this, I have learned that God’s heart is to look at our hearts or motives to see if our desires are birthed from purity or pride.
When I speak of pride, I am not discussing arrogance. I am speaking of the pride mentioned in the Amplified Classic Version of 1 John 2:16, which says, For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh [craving for sensual gratification] and the lust of the eyes [greedy longings of the mind] and the pride of life [assurance in one’s own resources or in the stability of earthly things]—these do not come from the Father but are from the world [itself]. The pride of life, if left unchecked or unaware, will negatively influence your entire belief system concerning faith, blessings, and God. Pride is like mold; it starts small and unnoticed. Then it grows overnight into a destructive force that consumes everything.
As I mentioned in a previous post, the pride of life developed in my heart after repeated experiences of rejection and failure. The fear of failure ultimately increased. So, I developed the belief that I could engage in spiritual warfare to get God’s hands to produce my idea of a “perfect life” on my timeline. I began to idolize what He promised me. Therefore, prayer, praise, fasting, and worship became more about what I could get from His hand instead of spending time to know His heart. When God’s timeline did not go according to mine, I rushed ahead of Him, dismissed His leading, and became disappointed. The pride became even more dangerous when it developed in my heart a sense of bitter entitlement, instead of enjoying the fruits of being close to His heart. The real danger of all of this is that my decline was not overnight. It was gradual and subtle. I slowly drifted into having a hardened heart towards God’s heart. Therefore, I began to misunderstand his process of pruning and preparation for the things He deeply desired to bless me with. The pursuit of power and platforms over His presence replaced my focus on God’s love and victory.
God’s Heart
The scriptures tell of how Moses spent time in God’s presence pursuing His heart. Therefore, God consistently empowered Moses to serve Him and the people he was assigned to lead. Moses was still very much human, had flaws, and made many mistakes. However, God honored Moses’ desire to pursue His presence. All that Moses needed to maintain the calling, purpose, and vision that God had for him was supplied in God’s timing. Moses didn’t have everything he wanted, but he was given everything he needed. The children of Israel, however, remained very childlike in the sense that they did not grow to understand the importance of knowing the God that delievered them from oppression in Egypt. Nor did they value the importance of spending quality time in His presence. So they lacked wisdom during their process of being pruned to receive God’s blessings. Instead, they choose to fill their hearts with earthly cares to cope with their lack of understanding. Therefore, while in the process, when what God provided from His hand didn’t align with what they were used to, they questioned His heart.
While writing this blog, two scriptures really spoke to me concerning God’s heart. In the Message Version of Psalm 103:8-9, it says, God is sheer mercy and grace; not easily angered, he’s rich in love. He doesn’t endlessly nag and scold, nor hold grudges forever. He doesn’t treat us as our sins deserve, nor pay us back in full for our wrongs. I am reminded through this scripture that although I misunderstood my process of prunin and turned away from his heart, He is gracious and merciful. Therefore, I can confess my sin, receive His forgiveness, and move forward victoriously. In the Message Version of Psalm 103:17-18, it says, God’s love, though, is ever and always, eternally present to all who fear him, Making everything right for them and their children as they follow his Covenant ways and remember to do whatever he said.
As I continued to reflect, the Holy Spirit highlighted the importance of focusing on God’s heart as a loving Father and provider. A Father who desires to prepare me and you to possess all that He desires to give us. However, to know what He desires to give, it is vitally important to know His heart first. When we seek to know His heart, He changes our hearts to receive His hand. The Amplified Version of Psalms 37: 3-5 says, Trust [rely on and have confidence] in the Lord and do good; Dwell in the land and feed [securely] on His faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, And He will give you the desires and petitions of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; Trust in Him also and He will do it. In truth, I am learning to embrace these scriptures in my heart to live them out daily. I pray that by God’s grace, you will receive the strength and ability to do the same. Reflecting on these scriptures is a reminder that my pursuit of God’s heart provides a purity of perspective, purpose, and peace. All three are needed to embrace His heart and receive from His hand.
Perfect Love
In His merciful and perfect love for me, He has been gracious enough to slow walk me through the process of recovery. Being purged of the pride was painful, but as scripture says, it has produced a “patience” and an appreciation of His heart. In this process of Him perfecting me, I am learning how to trust His character and nature. If anything I have written thus far speaks to you, I pray that wherever you are in the process, you will be reminded by the Holy Spirit of the perfect love that God desires to give you. As mentioned in Psalm 103:17-18, we can only receive His heart of love, mercy, and grace when we fear or “honor and respect” God’s heart. He desires that we ask the Holy Spirit to reveal His heart to us as we spend time in His presence through reading His word and continually thinking of ways to live His word. This is the path that must be followed to ensure that we receive the benefits of pursuing His heart like Moses. I am repeatedly using the noun “we” because, as I am writing to you, I am writing to myself!
Again, if you can identify with any part of this article, Peculiar person, know that you are not alone, as I am in the recovery process with you! I thank God that He has been reminding me of the power of His perfect love. I am also grateful that His reminder has been increasing my desire to remain in His presence. Let’s join in faith together that His perfect love will perfect, strengthen, encourage, and keep our hearts focused on pursuing His heart, not just His hand.
With Love,.
Riva
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SALVATION
I’d like to believe that everyone who reads this blog has a personal relationship with Jesus, but if you have yet to make it official and have stumbled upon this blog, know that you can establish that relationship and receive all of His Awesome Promises in a few easy steps.
Pray (speak out loud with your mouth) the Salvation Prayer based on the scripture listed below.
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Scriptural Reference
9 that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. 11 For the Scripture says, “Whoever believes on Him will not be put to shame.”
ROMAN 10:9-11
Prayer
LORD JESUS, I CONFESS MY SINS AND ASK FOR YOUR FORGIVENESS. I BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE THE SON OF GOD AND DIED ON THE CROSS FOR ME AND THEN ROSE IN THREE DAYS. PLEASE COME INTO MY HEART AS MY LORD AND SAVIOR. TAKE COMPLETE CONTROL OF MY LIFE AND HELP ME TO WALK IN YOUR FOOTSTEPS DAILY BY THE POWER OF THE HOLY SPIRIT. THANK YOU, LORD, FOR SAVING ME AND FOR ANSWERING MY PRAYER. IN JESUS’ NAME. AMEN
