Perfect Love: The Remedy For Fear
“Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.”
1 John 4:8 NLT
Misconceptions of Love
What if everything you believe about love is wrong? We all have foundational beliefs about love. However, for most of us, those beliefs increase fear and stand in the way of genuinely experiencing God’s “Perfect love.”
I thought I knew and fully understood God’s love for me until He helped me to see that it was severely distorted by trauma, distrust, and legalism. Then, He began to highlight my personal experiences with people who misrepresented His love. Unfortunately, my beliefs and experiences led to a very vicious cycle of anxious decision-making. A cycle that often caused me to second-guess my interests, wants, and purpose. I ended up fearing every decision I made because I believed that God, my Father, disapproved of me as His daughter. Does any of this sound familiar to you?
The unlearning has been challenging but necessary for the health and prosperity of my relationship with Him. Contrary to popular belief, you cannot be in fear and experience love at the same time. So, I want to share with you all how God helped me dispel the myths and misconceptions that once clouded my perspective of His perfect love for me. My hope is that you will receive insight into how His perfect love has helped me to go from feeling like an orphan to embracing my adoption as a Peculiar person in Christ Jesus.
Again, God began highlighting the earthly relationships that created and cultivated the fear. Since God is a Father, He began to help me examine the relationship between me and my earthly father. Sometimes, we can associate God’s character with our earthly fathers’. Because my earthly father was flawed, I unconsciously believed God to be the same. I came to view God the Father as a strict disciplinarian, a material provider, and a rigid ruler keeper.
Strict Disciplinarian
My relational challenges with my earthly father caused me to view God as a “distant, conditional, disapproving, and critical” Father who is always waiting for me to mess up. So, when I made a mistake, I began to think that God was in Heaven, keeping score of all I did to help Him determine when or how He would discipline me.
Material Provider
My earthly father also believes in being a strong provider for his family. So, he displayed love for me by buying me material things. Therefore, I learned to view receiving “material blessings” from God as the only form of His love for me.
Rigid Rule Keeper
Since the Foundation of my thoughts about God’s love was based on criticism and transaction, I became very focused on rule-keeping and legalism, aka “being too religious” or “having a religious spirit.” My mindset or heart toward God was filled with traditions and conditions. I thought, “If I don’t pray this way, for this length of time, He won't love or bless me.” I could go on and on, listing the legalistic thoughts that consumed me.
The Remedy
If we are not careful, we can all lean more toward misrepresentations of character, fleshly desires, and legalistic traditions to shape our perspective or view of God’s love. The problem with these mindsets and beliefs is that they make God’s love one-dimensional and transaction-based. The remedy lies in acknowledging, accepting, and rehearsing the truth written in the living word of God.
Loving Correction
Instead of seeing God as a strict disciplinarian, He helped me understand that His correction protects me and ensures my spiritual, mental, and emotional growth. In the Amplified version, Romans 5:10(b) says, “He disciplines us for our good, so that we may share His holiness.” (Side note: read the entire chapter for deeper context and revelation). Verse 6, in the same chapter and version, also says, “For the Lord disciplines and corrects those whom He loves.” As my father, God also reminded me that mercy and grace are included in his loving correction. In the Amplified version, Psalm 103:8 says, “The Lord is merciful and gracious, Slow to anger and abounding in compassion and lovingkindness.” And because he is a Father who corrects us to promote growth. In the New King James Version, Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”
Nourishing Provider
To help me rid myself of the belief that His blessings to and for me are solely material, I was led to read the Amplified version of I John 2:16, which states, “For all that is in the world—the lust and sensual craving of the flesh and the lust and longing of the eyes and the boastful pride of life [pretentious confidence in one’s resources or in the stability of earthly things]—these do not come from the Father, but are from the world.” Therefore, I learned to value the fruit of my relationship with God as my Father. He showed me how quality time spent in His presence produces priceless spiritual blessings, such as the fruits of the Holy Spirit. In the Living Bible translation, Galatians 5:22-23 says, “But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives he will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control;”
Liberating Love
To combat the rigid rule-keeping and legalism, I was led to read the books/writings of Paul. A follower of Jesus, Apostle, and former Jewish leader. Paul was very familiar with rule-keeping based on the notable Jewish teachings of Moses’s Laws and writings inspired by God. Therefore, His entire ministry focused on explaining how belief in Jesus, His sacrifice, and his ministry would unlock the opportunity to experience the freedom found in His love. In the English Standard Version, Romans 8:1-2 says, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.” I recommend reading more into that chapter as it explains how rigid rule-keeping limits your ability to experience love and increases the fear of failure. Additionally, in the Amplified version, 2 Corinthians 3:17 says, “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty [emancipation from bondage, true freedom].” These scriptures highlight the importance of receiving the Holy Spirit of God. Through the Holy Spirit, we receive instructions and guidance on ways to live a Holy, righteous, and pleasing life to the Father, God. Those instructions are the keys that unlock the unlimited and liberating love of God.
Now that you have “The Remedy,” your work comes in reminding yourself of the truth concerning God’s perfect love. Remember, as a believer in Jesus Christ and as a son/daughter of God, you are free to live in His love without fear. In simpler terms, God is your Father. Therefore, He knows your weaknesses and strengths and knows exactly how to love, correct, and comfort you. So, allow His perfect love to cancel out all fear and guide you in this journey called life.
With Love,
Riva
SALVATION
I’d like to believe that everyone who reads this blog has a personal relationship with Jesus, but if you have yet to make it official and just so happened to stumble upon this blog, know that you can establish that relationship and receive all of His Awesome Promises in a few easy steps.
Pray (speak out loud with your mouth) the Salvation Prayer based on the scripture listed below.
Connect to a local church to further your walk and build community.
Read Your Bible as often as possible. Click here to gain ideas on helpful scriptures and Bible plans to read.
Scriptural Reference
9 that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. 11 For the Scripture says, “Whoever believes on Him will not be put to shame.”
ROMAN 10:9-11
Prayer
JESUS, I BELIEVE IN MY HEART THAT YOU ARE THE LORD, THE SON OF GOD, AND DIED ON THE CROSS FOR ME AND THEN ROSE IN THREE DAYS. I CONFESS AND REPENT OF MY SINS AND ASK FOR YOUR FORGIVENESS. THANK YOU, JESUS FOR SENDING THE HOLY SPIRIT OF GOD. PLEASE COME INTO MY HEART AS MY LORD AND SAVIOR, AND HELP ME TO WALK IN YOUR FOOTSTEPS DAILY. THANK YOU, LORD JESUS, FOR SAVING ME AND ANSWERING MY PRAYER. IN JESUS’ NAME. AMEN.
